I can't speak to the heart of your question as I just got my frenum done about 5 hrs ago, but I saw your prospective jewelry choice and thought I'd share the gist of all the research I did over the past week before I laid my meat on the line I found almost universally that 12 ga was the smallest due to what people termed the 'cheese wire' effect of using too small a gauge. Didn't sound like a fun time to me . In fact, my piercer, John at Scarab Body Art in Syracuse, only likes to use 10 ga or bigger. I thought I wanted 10 ga until I saw the 8 ga next to. Now I'm the extremely proud owner of an 8 ga frenum piercing and couldn't be happier, great experience!!

I agree with NOT going with anything smaller than a 10ga. Now for something you may not want to hear...and it's just my opinion....a frenum's functionality is minimal. It's more of an aesthetic piercing. If you're looking for a "performer" I recommend an apadravya, but everyone has their own preference.

So there's not much benefit for the wife? (Other than visual stimulus)? Well, that ok too. Thanks for the input on the barbell size.

no problems at all with my frenum piercing. almost 2 yrs old.

Speaking as a girl (because I am one), the visual stimulus is about 60% of the fun for me.

You can always have fun trying

To me visual is just as important.

Love my lorum, and will keep it. I didn't like the frenum. it kept getting caught on stuff and was constantly irritating. sex was not that great with it either. so I removed it. After retiring the frenum I got a P.A and am very pleased so far. just over a week old. I only used it once and it wasn't bad, and this was to early to be doing it any how. I just couldn't help my self.

Just got my frenum done yesterday.. Had to have it done twice as wasnt deep enough the first time.. owch
Looks great though.. Have got a 10ga cbr at the mo but after healing will change but not sure for what yet.. Wanted a dydoe but the place I went didnt do them , never mind will find somewhere that does them later.
The frenum i think will serve some sexual stimulant to my wife, will have to wait to find out how much though!!

Benefit for the wife? Sure...but you're going to have to go bigger. At least 8g or perhaps 6g. Your piercer will usually tell you how big is "too big". It's depends on location and the amount of available skin. Too small can migrate out...