You can't convince her to get it if she doesn't want to, that's just silly!! Getting a piercing there is a big move and I would never do it just for somebody else's happiness. I only get piercings for me. There are plenty of other ways to spice up the sex/love life. If you've talked to her and she hates the idea, then that's just how it is, respect her opinion! And find other ways to spice things up! The choices are endless! Buy her random sexy lingerie! Scatter roses on the bed and give her a beautiful massage with a candlelit room! lol.

Talk about it with each other most importantly, things don't change without discussion.

fun? (gasp) piercings are not fun! they're serious biz!

Piercings between partners can be a tricky issue. I understand that you want to spice up your sex life, and piercings CAN do that; however, piercings are not a "magic bullet" for your sex life.

It's important that the pierced person feels comfortable and sexy with their own piercings, and that's why we say you can't, and shouldn't try, to "convince" your wife to get them. Talk about them, educate yourselves, tell her your interested--fine, great, but ultimately it's her body and her decision.

It sounds like you may have other problems; i.e., the fact that she was jealous a female piercer did your PA. Piercers are professionals, and pierce the opposite sex all the time, there should be no reason for jealousy.

I did not mean by convince her to actually push her without her wanting it!
At one time she did think it would be a cool addition to her body. I talked to her this morn about having a pa again and she says they are disgusting... I think they are great but will not have it done if it is something that she would not like on my body.
We do spice up the bedroom sometimes with candles, "random lingerie!" and massages. But i think there is nothing like having a piercing that only your nearest and dearest can see.

You could mention that you think that she would look sexy and drive you wild with a VCH. Then just back off and let her decide. You may get what you wish for, but by being pushy you will drive the idea out of her head. Let her decide as it is entirely up to her.

I am having the opposite problem, I got my VCH done 2 weeks ago and now want my inner labia's doing, I mentioned it to the husband and he screwed his face up!! So can anyone help me how to convince my Husband lol!!!

If he wants you to do without what you want then maybe he can do without what he wants. I gots a heady ache again.

Rob,

You said your wife was disgusted by the PA piercing. Have you sat with her and looked at all of the piercing possibilities for men and women? You might find something which tickles her fancy?

Ok whats he doing with out here cos if its getting jiggy in the bed room then it feels like we're both doing without lol!!! We're married now we dont do that sort of thing anymore!! lol!!!

If your hubby not into you havin your inner labias done then I would sit down with him and show him some pics of women that have had it done.. see what his reaction is. You may find that he like the idea once he has seen it! and you may find that he will be turned on just thinkin of you with them in..
I think allot of men will be a little uncomfortable with a male piercer lookin at and workin on your intimate area as men do not like sharing this sacred place with others! But if you had it done I am sure he would not turn down the chance to inspect your new jewellery from a closer vantage point, if you get my drift!
So basically if I were you I would have it done.. he will come round.
Wish my wife was like you on the piercing front!! hehe

I'm confused on how a PA can be "disgusting"?

I doubt it. Plenty of people find them disgusting. Or use that word because they can't accurately describe their reactions. Dirty, weird, aberrant, deviant, startling, crude, trashy, . . . Remember those stereotypes we were talking about recently?

I spoke to him earlier about this and his face didnt go as screwed up as it did the other day so I think he has come round to the idea!!! So yes hopefully soon I will be getting my inner labia's doing hehe and my boobs lol!! Then thats it defo no more piercings lol!!

personally when my husband got togeather he hated piercings and tatts on anybody, pretty old-school about it. but i had already a hood and tongue done when we met and the he decided thoose were good he liked thoose (lol imagine that), and a couple tatoos and he decided piercings were ok as long as they can be hidden. and when the others came after the first new one since w got togeather that i just showed up with lol he's takin me to get all the rest of them so to each there own, and some people really don't like piercings some love them off the bat but i would have never taken out the ones i had at the time we met if he wanted me two they were with me when i met and my piercings are a extension of me and so it's deal with it or don't with me but if i got a new one now he truely didn't like i would remove it. i would love for him to get one but that'll will never happen!!!!!! he would never do it.

This is actually pretty genius because any guy would be "interested" in viewing photos of female genitals with their girl. No its not pornography but... this kind of activity has a high potential for persuasion.

When I had my vch done and i showed him he was like "oh right ok" and then walked off!!! He just aint into piercings!!

Well that's a shame. He shouldn't walk away when you've got your pants down. Poor form on his part!

Well we are married now, We dont do things like that anymore lol!!!

Ok so showed the hubby a few pictures this morning off inner labia's and he didnt screw his face up and he didnt walk off, he just asked why I wanted them doing, my reply was well it will look good with my VCH so hopefully I will be getting them done soon!!! Yay!!

If your wife may be interested in it in the least, maybe she could set up an account and ask for opinions from Tribers who have had it done.

My personal opinion? It makes me feel sexier, but it doesn't *make* me orgasm. Sometimes though, feeling sexier is a great way to initiate sex or have better sex.

I will say that mine hurt like a mother- probably some of the worst pain I've ever felt. And I like the thing, but not enough to have it done again if for some reason I lost it.

Then again, we're both into piercings, so...

I would immediately get worried if my partner asked me to get a piercing because my instinctive thought would be "Aren't I interesting enough as I am?" but let her do some ideas and have a think about it. I would say talking, and patience are the only ways.

As for finding PA disgusting, I'm kinda grossed by them, and I like piercings. It's often just such alot of metal.

I can EASILY see why a lot of people would find PA's disgusting! I have to say it took me a while to like them. Think of the majority of people in society who are not into piercings, a huge metal ring going THROUGH the head of a peen is going to gross out nearly everybody who falls into the non-piercing-friendly group!

It was a joke as sex should never be used as a weapon. I guess that I find nothing wrong with you wanting something other than spurs that go jingle/jangle.

Well first,hello,I am a new member and this is my first post.I have no piercings....yet...but I wanted to throw my two cents in this discussion.I am 47 and my wife is about to turn 40 in Dec.We have been together for 14 yrs.I work overseas,and while on the phone with her about 2 weeks ago,she was down about turning 40,I wouldn't be home and would miss this milestone b-day.She wanted to do something to mark the occasion,make a statement.Now she's the more conservative of us, me,,I will try anything once type.So,trying to cheer her up I said...get your nipples pierced......silence...then she says...you'd be ok with that??..I answered " you would do it'??..She says I have always wanted to do that but I didn't think you would like it.....WHAT????!!!! what's not to like???I think it's sexy and beautiful.Do it!! Do it!!....so she says I will find out about it...pain....risks etc.I found this website,and we have read alot and learned alot from everybody.Well,we have discussed it further several times since,and it has grown from nipples to a VCH,nipples(both) and navel getting done this comming tues 28th........and she wants more later....
Am I happy??? you know it......so happy I told her she could pick one out for me,if she likes,(After some research and thought,I like the idea)and I will take my initiation.SO...ya never know how it's gonna turn out,just when you think ya know somebody.....I love it...it's kind of a re- marriage of sorts for us.....She should be on her way to being healed when I get home in mid Jan....

That's wonderful! It must be great to learn something new about someone you love, and have known for a while.
I wish you both the best of luck

that is a great, great story! Keep us updated!

OK....I will do that.Thanks for reading and taking time to reply..

My wife was totally unaware or piercings when I had my P.A. done. Her only comment was "Are you crazy" when she saw it, but could not say to much because she had blindly agreed to it without knowing what it was. I also talked her into having her nipples pierced. She moaned about the sore nipples for a time. Would she have them done again? No. Would she take them out no again as she likes them. She thought that I was crazy with the P.A. and had totally lost it with the apadravya and will probably try to have me commited when I get the ladder finished.

I'm always somewhat baffled by these threads where the central theme is approval by a partner. My wife and I are individuals...I don't LET her do anything, nor does she me.

I guess we're just weird that way.

I agree with Bash, my partner doesn't tell me what I can and can't do, and we don't feel the need to ask each others 'permission' to do things. Obviously there are things that are not approved of but its not a matter of saying "you are not allowed to do that", its more like "well I wouldn't like it but its your decision." If you care about the other person you will respect their feelings and take that into account when making decisions.
I wouldn't go and get a piercing without telling my partner but its not about asking permission its about respect.

My bf and I are the same. I do what I want, he does what he wants. That even goes as far as money, too. As long as the bills are paid first, then I could care less what you do with the rest. I will run a piercing by him and see what he says, but I certainly wouldn't ask for permission. If he told me no, I'd do it anyway.